When Prayer is Dangerous

When I first heard the term “praying dangerously,” I was still a young teenager trying to understand a real, conversational relationship with an almighty God. At the time, I was amazed that I had never heard about this idea before. I was captivated by it and at times a bit scared to think too deeply about it. Since then I’ve been slowly learning to pray dangerously and wondering why we don’t talk about this more.

What does it mean to pray dangerously? A dangerous prayer is asking God for opportunities that do not immediately benefit us, with no thought of ourselves; asking God to give us opportunities of growth, chances to show His love to others, or opportunities to share the gospel.

“When praying for opportunities to grow, one cannot pray timidly. ”

When praying for these things, one must pray in complete faith that God will hear the prayer and answer it. Of course, faith in prayer is always necessary, but when praying for opportunities to grow, one cannot pray timidly. Because when we pray for things that are completely aligned with God’s will and what He teaches, does He not answer them?

John writes in 1 John 5:14, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.”

Of course God will answer those prayers! If you ask Him to, God will give you many opportunities to exercise your patience, or act unselfishly, or to share God’s love with others.

“Am I willing to walk through the doors God will inevitably open?”

The question then is not, “will God open those doors,” but “am I willing to walk through the doors God will inevitably open.” Therein lies the danger. Will you risk asking God for things that will stretch you and possibly be uncomfortable for you? Do you have the courage to ask God to give you a heart that beats the same rhythm as His? Do you dare to pray dangerously?

About the Author

Tina calls Northwestern Pennsylvania her home where she enjoys spending quality time with loved ones, reading captivating and educational books, spending time in coffee shops, and occasionally engaging in an active lifestyle via biking, rock climbing, hiking, and running. She values the power of words and loves to see writing change and impact lives. If you’d like to contact her directly, you can reach her at tina.thesimpledesignco@gmail.com.

What Can Postcards Do for Your Business?

What Can Postcards Do for Your Business?

Postcards are especially useful for local businesses… landscaping or construction or brick and mortar or any other business that serves a relatively specific locality.

Are postcards effective?  In a word, yes.  However, your business is different than every other business, and your postcard should also be unique.  This makes the success of each run of postcards different, even for the same company.

Here are a few best practices that have helped the runs of postcards that we have done.

“Events like Mother’s Day or Valentine’s Day, or even spring, for crying out loud, seem to sneak up out of nowhere… as if we had no warning. ”

1. Be specific.  A typical lawn care company, for instance, may provide seven different services… mowing, mulching, aeration, …etc.  If your postcard uses all of it’s real estate to promote everything that you do in bullet point style, it looks just like every other piece of “junk mail” that homeowners get.   We have had more success when we focused in on one specific service, such as lawn mowing.

2. Offer something worth something.  Several months ago, we did a run of postcards for our coffee shop that offered a free cookie to customers who presented the postcard in the shop.    Nothing is ever a guarantee in marketing, but if a customer sees “This postcard is good for a free cookie” rather than, “get 10% off your next purchase” the value of your postcard hovering over their trash can is more tangible.

3. Plan Ahead.  Small businesses tend to fly a bit by the seat of their pants, especially in marketing (this is the voice of experience talking).  Events like Mother’s Day or Valentine’s Day, or even spring, for crying out loud, seem to sneak up out of nowhere… as if we had no warning.  If your business is seasonal in any aspect, plan ahead.  A run of postcards is so much easier to do well if it has been thought through, months in advance.  We are six years into this business and finally last year we planned ahead for our busy season for the first time.  It’s easy to focus your energy on marketing during your slow season, and marketing can be useful during that time.  However, use your down season to prepare to reach the most people, when they are the most likely to want your service/product.  For example: If you wait until June to do a run of postcards advertising your lawn mowing service, most of your potential clients already have somebody taking care of their lawn.  You will probably get some calls and even a few clients, but your dollars will definitely not go as far as they would have just before lawn mowing season began.

4. Experiment.  As with any marketing strategy, the first run is almost never the best run.  Experiment multiple times over multiple seasons and play for the long game.  Just because you didn’t see excellent results the first time you sent out postcards, doesn’t mean they weren’t effective.  Sometimes the introduction to your company that a postcard provides can get the ball rolling, even if you don’t realize the benefits of that interaction for several years.

What is the best avenue for local postcard marketing? In my opinion, it is Every Door Direct Mail, or EDDM.  EDDM is a service that the post office provides at a greatly discounted rate compared to normal postcard prices on a per-card mailing cost, making every dollar you spend go further.  If you want to learn more or you would like to have a postcard designed or printed? Contact us here!

A Day of Rest

A Day of rest

We love projects. I’m guessing there is a designation for our condition in some medical paper somewhere.  Recently, however, we realized that our “projects” have become our life.  We decided to introduce a new idea into our weekly life.  The Sabbath.

What is a Sabbath?  Growing up, I would have considered Sunday to be our “Sabbath”, and in concept, there is nothing wrong with that.  Honestly, I haven’t done any research at all on what a true “Sabbath” looks like, but for the purposes of this post, a Sabbath is a day set aside for rest and refreshment.

For our current stage of life, Sunday isn’t overly restful.  Our normal Sunday starts with church service in the morning, followed by a meal at somebody’s house, followed by a short afternoon at home, followed by either another church service in the evening or another meal at somebody else’s house.  Throw two young kids into the mix, and you’ve got a full day’s work.

Don’t misunderstand… I don’t think there is anything wrong with a full Sunday!  As a Christian, I believe connecting with my local group of believers is one of the most important things we can do, and Sunday is undoubtedly the best day of the week to do that.  Honestly, most of the pushback to busy Sundays that I hear seems to overlook the importance of getting together with believers altogether, but that’s a whole different can of worms (and we ain’t opening it any further:).

Our solution to feeling overwhelmed due to our busy life has been a Sabbath in our week.  The actual day of the week varies because our schedule is pretty flexible and we don’t quite get it done every single week.

Our weekday Sabbath loosely resembles a Jewish Shabbat.  We start the evening before by getting into Shabbat mode.  We don’t do the actual Jewish rituals of being one hundred percent electronics free and all the other things, but we go into a rest/family first mode.  Our goal during the next 24 hours or so is to rest and enjoy our small family to it’s fullest.  We typically go to bed a bit later than normal and don’t set an alarm.  (There’s no chance we actually sleep late thanks to our kids.)  Our morning is super relaxed and we usually eat a pretty big brunch.  The rest of the day is just focused on doing something refreshing and relaxing with the children.  We usually have a relaxed evening that includes a walk or some activity like a small game to keep the children occupied.

We aren’t anywhere near experts in taking a Sabbath but here are a few tips to get you started.

• Start with a general plan in mind, but don’t be tied to it.

• Neglect your phone as much as possible. (Or throw it over a cliff if it’s too tempting)

• Places that our children love are libraries and parks. Coffee shops are also great.

• Go out for a late sit-down lunch after a morning at a park, if you enjoy that kind of thing.

• Switch it up, not every Sabbath needs to look the same.

• If you have children, don’t just sit on your recliner at home all day.  You don’t need to leave the house, but do some family oriented activity.

• Focus on the good things that you have been blessed with.

• Rest.

I’ve been amazed at the difference that one day a week can have on our outlook on life.  It’s good for your marriage, for your kids, and for your spiritual health.

DO IT!

THIS WEEK!

A great inspiration if you want read more about this type of subject is The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer.  Find it here- https://amzn.to/3LwLsGB

7 timeless Wedding Invitation Ideas

Timeless. Classic. Beautiful. These seven wedding invitations will get you inspired as you prepare for your big day!

Almost all wedding invitations that could be considered classic are simple. A beautiful photo and a bit of design. Neither the photo nor the text is competing for your attention.

Borderless photo invitations can be a great option. A good photo is key to making this work well.

IN SUMMARY

• You need a great photo, if you want a photo intensive design to look great. No amount of graphic design wrangling can save you from a bad photo. (Translation: Hire a good photographer. Don’t go with Uncle Bob who just bought a camera on Black Friday.)

• Keep it simple. Simplicity is your friend if you are looking for a timeless wedding invitation.

• Don’t go bold. Bold and bright colors are great, unless you are going for a classic and timeless look. Scan over these invitations again, and notice that most of the tones are relatively muted.

• Get a good designer. You can check out our selection of wedding invitations here.

A timeless wedding invitation is timeless because it adheres to basic principles of beauty. Simple, clean lines with a touch of elegance.

An easy way to add a minimal feel to your wedding invite is to remove all the text that you can.

Here are a few things that are optional if you have a photo on the front of your invitation.

• Last Names

• First Names

• Date

Don’t underestimate the effect that the border has on your invitation. A black border adds a bit of mood to your invitation.

A timeless yet elegant invitation wedding invitation option is no photo at all. If you go this route, be sure to use a graphic design who knows what she is doing! Letter spacing and font choices make a huge difference on whether your invite looks like a high school craft project or a piece of art.

How to Stop A Charging Buffalo

How to Stop A Charging Buffalo

Last year approximately 330 billion dollars were spent on advertising in North America… that’s a little under $900 per person, trying to get their attention.  Somebody spent almost $1,000 on you.  Just for your attention.

“The average American is exposed to 4,000-10,000 ads per day. That’s nearly double the number of ads the average person saw in 2007 and over five times as many ads as the average person saw in the 1970s.  ”

According to zippia.com “The average American is exposed to 4,000-10,000 ads per day. That's nearly double the number of ads the average person saw in 2007 and over five times as many ads as the average person saw in the 1970s.”  

Is it just me or does the world (specifially the internet world) feel more and more claustrophobic?  It feels a little bit like being in a crowded market in a third world country.  You look around and from every side, people are waving their hands and trying to talk over each other and get into better position to get your attention.  If you don’t know what you are getting into, it can be a bit panic inducing.

Am I the only one that feels as though our collective attention is being taken over?  As if there is an unstoppable force that is sweeping over us like a tsunami of distraction? If so, listen up.  I might have a solution.

Years ago, I was at an expo and I got into an interesting conversation with a professional hunting guide from Africa.  His job was to take clients on hunts, and his specialty was dangerous African animals.  He told me that cape buffalo are the worst, because they are tough and have a mean personality.  I wasn’t shocked by this but I didn’t really believe that he had likely had many close calls with them.  I asked him “How often have you had to shoot a charging animal?” He took me over to a photo book with trophy photos, and flipped to a spread that had four different pictures of proud hunters posing behind a trophy cape buffalo, with this guide sitting next to them.  “Look closely just above the buffalo’s noses,” he told me.  There, just above the nose on three of the four cape buffalo pictured on the page was a clean, round hole.  “When they charge, we aim just above the nose.”  Whoa. I was talking to a legend. (Unless he was great at photoshop:)  This was a guy that stares down charging cape buffalos and doesn’t flinch.

Maybe you are wondering “Wow, what on earth does this story have to do with anything?” Let me explain.  Sometimes, when I feel as though I am being overwhelmed by the information and advertisements and influencers and startup small business and non profits and a thousand other things vying for my attention every time I open my phone, I forget that there is another option.  You don’t have to be overwhelmed by the internet and social media.  You can literally stop it in its tracks.  Maybe the example is a bit extreme… but who’s the judge of that anyway? Like our legend friend in the story, you can stand your ground and aim just above the nose.

“For me it’s deleting the app.”

Stopping the “charge” of internet/social media overwhelm can look different for different people.  For me it’s deleting the app.  Because of what we do for a living, social media is a necessary part of my job.  However, every time I need to post something, I need to go to the app store and download the app before I can post it.  As soon as I am done, I delete the app.  Strangely enough, I usually experience a sense of relief as soon as the app is deleted.

Maybe for you, it’s just a self imposed daily time limit.  Of maybe deleting your account all together.  Maybe it’s not social media.  It could be any website or service on the whole internet. News, Youtube, Blogs (kinda ironic to read that one here, but oh well), Lifestyle, Product Reviews… the list is endless.  Just know that if the internet is overwhelming you, it is your decision whether or not you want to stop the charge.  Just press “off”.

Lead & Lag: Two words that could change your life

Lag vs Lead

Lag indicator and lead indicator… Two phrases that might show up in a stock business book with other terms like “growth systems” “key performance indicators” “purchase funnels” and the like.  However, understanding the lead and lag measures in your life, could actually change your life.  No joke.

What is a lag (lagging) indicator?  Basically, reaping what you sow. Your life as it stands right at this moment, is a sort of lag indicator.  Who you are at precisely this moment is generally the result of all of your life choices.

What is a lead (leading) indicator?  Basically, sowing what you want to reap.  For example, eating healthy foods is a lead measure that will almost always result in the lag measure of being healthy.

I was recently struck again by the beautiful simplicity of this concept.   

Overweight? (lag measure)

Eat healthy and exercise. (lead measure)

Constantly Distracted? (lag measure)

Delete social media. (lead measure)

Too rushed to have a quality meditation with God in the morning?

Go to bed earlier, so that you can get up earlier.

Frustrated with your spouse?

Build your life around spending time with them and serving them, it reciprocates.

Anxious?

Unfollow the news.

Broke?

Go to work.

The list could go on endlessly.  Of course these answers are oversimplified, fixing a marriage isn’t always as easy as “Spend time with your spouse.”  However, a lot of annoyances that we have in our lives are things that we can actually begin to change.  Right at this very moment.

Just the other day, I realized that I spend too much time listening to podcasts.  They weren’t bad podcasts, but they were distracting me.  Even from “mindless” work.  I realized that a lagging indicator in my life was constantly feeling that I don’t get as much done in a day as I could if I focused more intently.  My leading measure to change that was deleting all my podcast apps.  Don’t get me wrong,  I’ll still occasionally listen to podcasts.  I’ve been listening to podcasts well before most people realized they were a thing.  However, I now have a new lag measure goal (to press myself to do more with my life) that is more important to me than my lead measure habit of being entertained by a good podcast.

In the end, lag and lead is just a reminder… do what it takes now, to become the person you know you ought to be.  And start to change your lead inputs now, we never know when our lead time will run out.

Winter Survival: Kids in the House Edition

How to Survive the Winter with Kids in the House.

It’s officially “winter is a marathon, the holidays are over, the weather is nasty, and the kids are sick of being cooped up” season here in Ohio… and we love every minute of it.  Just kidding.  Seriously kidding.

To help combat the winter blues (as much for ourselves as anyone), we have decided to focus on fun activities for you and your kids this month.  Here are six activities for you to do with your kids this week!

P.S.  All of these actives will be better if your phone is on airplane mode, at the least.  Maybe even turned off and in another room.

1. Have a coloring contest.

This doesn’t necessarily need to be a contest, obviously. 

2.  Bake cookies.

Involve your kids in every step of the process.  Let them make suggestions on what to add or subtract.  This is not something that needs to be Instagram beautiful. This is about enjoying your kids.

3. Complete a puzzle.

4. Make a paper airplane.

This can be a great contest as well, depending on the ages of your kids.  Youtube has some tutorials on different types of airplanes.

5. Go for a ride.

I feel like my generation has lost this as an activity, probably because the novelty of driving has worn off and been replaced with a sense of dread.  Listen to a story book or music and just enjoy a slowish pace.

6. Download Free Printable ACTIVITIES

We have been creating activity sheets for your kids to work on, and they are free! Click on this link and help yourself to a download or ten, and then print those pages on your home printer. These are all tested by our very own Jack and Kate:).

Good luck!!

P.P.S. Keep checking back as the month goes on for more free printable downloads and blogposts with activities for your kids!

The To-Don't List

The To-Don’t List

I recently came across the concept of the “to-don’t” list… and I’m dying to integrate it into my life.

““The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.” ”

— Warren Buffett

What is a to-don’t list?  Exactly what it sounds like.  Warren Buffett once said, "The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

I’ve been called an entrepreneur, but that’s hardly the truth.  I just have a hard time saying no to  a good opportunity.  Fixer upper houses? A local coffee shop that needs new owners?  A web-based design company?  High school choir needs a conductor? I can’t help myself.  Cue the to-don’t list.

Here are a few suggestions to get you started.

• No new hobbies this year. (Focus on the ones you already enjoy)

• No social media on my phone.

• No phone until 2 hours after I wake up.

• No screen time after 7:00 pm.

• No sugar.

• No news sights that make me anxious.

• No coffee after noon.

This isn’t compresensive, obviously. Maybe it’s totally different then the list you would start with.  Either start saying no.

“The to-don’t list isn’t bondage, it’s freedom.”

In the end, a no is actually a yes.  A yes to focus in on the things that you really want to do.  The to-don’t list isn’t bondage, it’s freedom.

Should You Start a Side Hustle?

9 Things You Should Know Before You Start A Small Business

It’s all the rage, "Start a side hustle!”, they say.  It’ll be a great source of income and plus you get to do the thing you’ve wanted to do all along!  Or, if you plan to go into you small business full time, they say “You can be your own boss!”  Or “You’ll be able to make so much more money!” Or “Now you can create your own hours and work whatever schedule you would like!”

Maybe nobody really says that out loud, but that’s the general impression that “the culture” puts in your face.

As someone who owns and runs two small businesses (this website’s company, The Simple Design Co, and now our coffee shop, Simple Coffee Co) I’ve seen both sides of the coin on the joys of being your own boss.  I’m not here to present myself as someone who has “made it”, because I haven’t!  This blog is just the 9 things that I wish I had known 6 years ago when we started our first business.

1. Business don’t take off just because you start them.

I always had the impression that some people just start businesses and it hardly mattered what they did, the business would just sorta take off all by itself.  That’s almost never true.

One of the most common misconceptions that I had about “successful” business owners was that they possessed a hidden skill or talent that mysteriously made everything they touched a success.  On the contrary, what I have noticed is that most success small business people are people who have a baseline level of competence, but always keep on going.  They never let the ship coast, but instead continue to learn and push, at least a little bit.

2. Spend no energy on the Haters.

Disclamer: You will almost certainly barely ever run into anybody ever that would qualify as a hater. Also, genuine critiques of flaws in your system do not qualify as haters! That aside, you will inevitably run into somebody that is just not a nice person.   Refund their money, even if they don’t deserve it, wish them a good day, and keep going with the things that move you forward.

“It’s really hard not to fall into the trap of a good spat.”

It’s really hard not to fall into the trap of a good spat.  For instance, we were once (publicly) accused of copying another person’s work, despite being relatively obsessive about not copying other people’s work.  Not only that, we had proof that we hadn’t done anything wrong, but that was beside the point.  If you spend energy on the haters or the false accusations or even your competition, you are only wasting the time that you should be spending on making your products and services better.

3. The actual skill that your product or service requires is probably the least of your worries.

This has to be the number one mistake people make when starting a small business or side hustle.  For example, “I’m a talented barista, I’m going to start my own coffee shop!”

  The skills that your industry requires to complete the physical product or service are the absolute baseline of what you need.  People aren’t necessarily impressed that you know how to be a good barista, they expected that when they walked into the specialty coffee shop.  They are impressed when they are greeted over and over with a friendly team of well trained people.   Of course you need a good barista, but if you want to run your own coffee shop, you need to be able to train people and promote your business and figure up good margins on your products and order supplies on time… the list goes on.

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t intended to discourage you!!  Just make sure you are working on the right skill set, or you will constantly be frustrated that nobody is noticing how much better of barista (or any other thing) you are.

4. Spend more time and energy in marketing

You almost certainly will not spend enough of your first several year’s worth of income from your business on marketing.  It’s really hard to spend the money on marketing that might bring you more income later, when you could just spend it on the equipment upgrade that you could really use right now.   Marketing also isn’t necessarily financially expensive.  If you don’t have a lot of extra cash to spend, spend your time instead.  Post on social media super consistently, and get intentional about what is and isn’t working.

Every new customer that you reach today could turn into 100 customers in 5 years.

“ Every new customer that you reach today could turn into 100 customers in 5 years.”

Extra tip.  If you are into social media marketing, be very careful when spending money to “boost” your posts.  The people who are successful with paid ads on social are very particular with who gets to see their paid ads.  Unfortunately, paid ads on social media for small businesses is usually just a direct deposit from your bank account to the social media’s bank account, with no real benefit to you. (I know, I know… paid ads can work, and we have done them, just be careful.)

5. Decide if you want to own your job, or run a business.

A lot of people who own their job think they run a business.  There is nothing wrong with owning a job, just be intentional about what it is you are wanting to do.   What’s the difference between owning a job and running a business?  One easy way to tell is to go on vacation.  Does the business keep going even if you are not there?  If yes, there is a good chance you run a business.  A proper business is a set of procedures and standards that produce products and services, outside of your direct efforts (that’s not an official definition :). If you run a proper business, you as the owner are replaceable, and that’s a good thing.  A proper business also needs to make more money than it pays you, or you are essentially running a non profit.   

“ Businesses often start as side hustles, so don’t be discouraged if you are in the side hustle stage and you want to run a business. ”

Businesses often start as side hustles, so don’t be discouraged if you are in the side hustle stage and you want to run a business.

Don’t feel as if you are “less than” if you own your job, rather than run a “business”.  Owning your job can be a completely valid option.  It’s possible to earn a great income, make the world a better place, and be able to make your own schedule, all without needing to hassle with employees and scaling your business to size.  Just be intentional, if that is what you are looking to do.

6. Don’t be the worst boss you’ve ever worked for.

I’m not natured to be a workaholic, but sometimes one business or the other demands that I put in 17 hour days, back to back to back.  That’s fine.  Honestly, it’s often fun, because it’s a season of growth or change, and it’s a project that we are excited about.  Endless work days are not a recipe for a happy life though.

“As your small business or side hustle picks up steam, you have to create boundaries around the most important areas of your life.  ”

As your small business or side hustle picks up steam, you have to create boundaries around the most important areas of your life.  Your time with God, your family, your marriage, your church, your close friend group.  A lot of people go into business to make more time for those things, and end up being busier than ever.  Just like everything else in our crazy modern world, your business will want all of your time and attention, but it will be just fine if you put in into a well structured box and make it stay there.

Don’t get me wrong, I spend a lot of time with my family, in the business.  Way more so than if I had a normal 9-5 job.  Again my point is only this, be intentional!

7. Have nothing to hide.

This is probably better as a mindset or a lifestyle than a small business tip, but have nothing to hide.  Always strive to produce only quality.  If you are always trying to improve, and you believe in the things you are producing or selling, everything becomes better in business.  You no longer fear a disgruntled customer, because you will give them a genuine apology, and give them a refund, and learn from the mistake.  The less than ideal product that you sent them was not because you were lazy, it was because of an honest mistake or flaw in your system (that you will now go fix)… and that’s a huge difference.  Your customer can quickly tell if you are trying to just do business with them to make a buck, or if you are trying to make their life better.

8. Read

Read books that pertain to what you are currently trying to improve on.  I’m not really a “self help” guy, but I am a big believer in the power of books.  Here are a few to get you started.

The E-Myth Revisited: Why Most Small Businesses Don't Work and What to Do About It-Michael E. Gerber

This is a great book on the importance of building systems.

Buy it here… https://amzn.to/3YXtBN9

This Is Marketing: You Can't Be Seen Until You Learn to See- Seth Godin https://amzn.to/3YNb2v4

This book is a good starting point for understanding what marketing looks like.

The One Page Marketing Plan, by Allan Dib, Joel Richards

Buy it here. https://amzn.to/3C7x6qD

This is a good book on simplifying your overall marketing, which is almost always a good idea.

Entreleadership- Dave Ramsey

Buy it here https://amzn.to/3C8mpEg

It’s been a minute since I took in this book, but it’s a great baseline business book that will get you started in the right direction.

9. Look beyond yourself.

Business can be a selfish, greedy, cut-throat world. Or it can be a place to bless people, further God’s kingdom, and make the world a better place. If your only objective is to make yourself wealthy, you are missing all of the best that running a small business has to offer. You might be able to build your business and pad your bank account, go wherever you want, and buy anything you get a hankering for. If you do really well you might even end up with a private jet… but then you die. We all die. (that turned morbid quickly) If every interaction you have with people your business touches is geared toward making the world a better place, you will won’t die. Or at least your impact won’t. In the end, that’s the only real reason we want to get into business in the first place… To have impact. To improve the world.

“Business can be a selfish, greedy, cut-throat world.”

So what is the answer to the question we posed? Should you start a side hustle? Yes! Do!… unless that hinders you from making a positive impact on the world. If it bogs you down and consumes your life at the expense of all the most important things… NO!! please don't ! Either way, only you can make the call… don’t be persuaded one way or the other by the messages you get on social media. Running a small business is not easy, and it’s definitely not guaranteed, but if it is what you are supposed to do, step into it. It’s pretty stinkin’ rewarding.

6 Tips To Not Waste 2023

6 Tips To Not Waste 2023

Tip 1.  Pick a word.

You have most likely heard of the concept of focusing on one word as your theme for a year.  Do it!  Last year, my word of the year was “Generosity” and it made a real difference in my life as a guiding principle.

Pro Tip 1  Make a sign or plaque with your word of the year and hang it in your bedroom, as a constant reminder.

Pro Tip 2  Read a book on the word you are focusing on.  I read Go-Giver, and the concepts of the book helped to cement the importance or generosity as a lifestyle for me.

Tip 2.  Make tangible goals.

This is almost certainly not a new thought to you, but it’s an easy one not to apply.  Creating vague goals guarantees that you will not reach them.

Example.  “I want to lose weight” is a vague goal.  “I want to lose 23 lbs by June 25th.” Is a tangible goal.

Tip 3. Structure your life to make your goals easy to reach.

I have lost somewhere in the neighborhood of 60 lbs. in the last year or two.  It’s not because I’m super disciplined or motivated.  It’s because we only had food around the house that was “healthy” food.  Also, I was on a diet plan for about half of the year that sent me my food to the door, making my food decisions for me.  Obviously, that’s not sustainable as a lifestyle, but the concept applies.  Make it easy to stay on track, and hard to come off track.

Tip 4. Trust the process.

If you have a financial or health or fitness or spiritual or any other goal, it’s easy to get discouraged with your progress.  Trust the process.  If you eat “right” and exercise for long enough, you will lose weight and become healthier.  If you spend time with God’s word and pray and meditate and worship consistently, you will have a closer relationship with Him.  If you always live on less than you earn, you will make financial progress.

Tip 5.  Keep constant pressure.

Our nature is to lose focus, now more than ever.  Your goals will almost certainly not happen if you do not keep constant pressure in that direction.  If you memorize a Bible verse every week, (just 1 a week!), you would memorize a little over 1,000 verses in twenty years.  Twenty years is a long time, but you are most likely going to end up living it anyway, so you might as well be a better version of you at that point.

Tip 6. Live

Aside from literally living (as in not dying), live!  Put your phone down.  Take a moment to enjoy the best parts of your life.  Make time for that trip that you have been meaning to get around to.  Visit the old friend who lives a road trip away… or at least text them!  Live as if this life isn’t a guarantee, because it’s not.

Salt River Wild Horses

We love Arizona… (check out this blog post), and without a doubt, at the top of our “cool things in AZ” list is seeing the wild horses along the Salt River.  

The Salt River area located in Tonto National Forest is approximately 30 min east and north of Phoenix.  The area’s natural beauty alone makes it worth the drive, especially at last light.

The combination of the desert mountain backdrop and wild horses in a February sunset is magic.  The clean, crisp air and sense that anything could happen is addictive.  

Last year we drove to the area twice and never were able to see any horses, but that was largely due to having no clue what we were doing.  This blogpost is designed to help you (hopefully) actually see the horses when you make a trip of your own to the Salt River Region.

Let me qualify all the advice that I’m about to give with the standard “these are wild animals” disclaimer.  These horses are free range and can move to and from wherever they want to in the area, so their patterns of movement can change at any given time.  

A main feature of the area is the Salt River, which runs somewhat parallel with Bush Highway.  Bush Highway has small side roads leading to different recreation areas along the river.  The basic idea is to drive up and down Bush Highway, pull into each recreational area, get out of the vehicle, walk to the edge of the river, and look up and down stream for horses. 

Last year, we made the drive to the area two times, and both times we had no luck.  I’m not sure if we were just unlucky or if that is a typical experience.  This year, in our first two trips to the area we again saw no horses.  We were fortunate enough to stumble upon a man who told us about an area that he had seen horses a few days prior, so we decided to give it another try.  This time we went to the Coon Bluff Recreational area and instead of just looking up and down the river, we walked East along the river for several minutes… and FINALLY we saw our wild horses. 

The red arrow notates the precise area that we consistently saw horses.

If you would like to visit the area and take in a proper sunset from a great vantage point, this pin is a great place.  It doesn’t look like much of a hill from the parking lot, but the view was surreal.  The hike to this particular hilltop isn’t terrible, but it definitely doesn’t fall into the “easy stroll” category.  We made the hike in twenty to thirty minutes with two young children.  

Prime sunset location.

The view from the top of the aforementioned hill in the Salt River Region.

You never quite know what will happen in the wild. We were walking along the riverbank to get closer to a large herd of horses that were crossing the the river downstream when we heard a scuffle in front of us... As we rounded the corner, we saw this pair of horses fighting it out, right in front of us. Witnessing the brutality of two horses fighting in the wild mere feet in front of you is breathtaking. The allure of walking up on a scene like this is half the fun of visiting this area.

As quickly as the fight had started, it was over and the horses disappeared into the bushes.

Pure, peaceful beauty.

The Beginners Guide to an Arizona Vacation

When people mention escaping the cold of a northern winter, they often mean going somewhere like Florida or Georgia or South Carolina.  Basically, somewhere that has a beach and warm weather.  Don’t get me wrong, we have gone to those places and have loved them.  The difference between those places and Arizona, is Arizona has sneaked its way into our hearts.  

The dry, crisp air of an Arizona February, chilly and refreshing in the mornings, warm and clear in the afternoons makes the weather more pleasant than the muggy warmth of the South.  The rugged desert mountains and valleys and cacti provide constant opportunities for photography.  Depending on where you are in the state, there is good opportunity to see elk or mule deer or wild horses or Coués deer… all of which we actually did see on our last visit.  

In my mind, Arizona was a warm state, hot even, but that’s not entirely true.  Large portions of the state do fall into the warm category, but a 2.5 hour drive north from Phoenix, (average daily high of 72* in February), brings you to Flagstaff, (average daily high of 47* in February)!  In other words, you could spend Tuesday at the pool in Phoenix and Wednesday at the ski slopes in Flagstaff.  

Last year, we went to Phoenix for a week and loved it so much that this year we decided to double our time in Arizona.  We hope this blogpost can serve as your inspiration to spend a week or two of your own in the Grand Canyon State and point you in the direction of our favorite parts of Arizona so far.

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We spent most of our time in Phoenix.  I’m not totally sure why we love the city of Phoenix so much. It probably has something to do with the desert mountains that are always visible in the distance, and whole area feels “alive”.  Here are few of our favorite places in Phoenix.

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Park N’ Swap

Park N’ Swap.  This is a large open air marketplace (flea market) where you can find just about any cheap toy or blanket or tool or any other little trinket you can imagine.  As soon as you pay your $2 and walk through the gate into the vendor’s area, it feels as though you have walked into another country.  Generally, it’s not the best prices for quality products that you will ever find, but it is a fun experience.  Make sure to try out one of the churro stands while you are in there.

Our Favorite Restaurants

Taco Boys. Taco Boys is a small chain of taco restaurants… the service and quality of food that we got at both locations that we went to was unbelievable.  Just remembering it now makes me want to hop on the next flight to Arizona. 

Charleston’s- A nice steakhouse with excellent food and service to match.

Andy’s Frozen Custard- The best frozen custard I ever remember having.

Butterfields- The best breakfast place in all of Phoenix.  Do yourself a favor and get a glass their fresh squeezed orange juice.

Hole in the Rock

Hole in the Rock.  Hole in the Rock is exactly what the name implies.  It’s a fun little hike, and we had no problem getting the kids up there.  It’s not exactly “kid friendly” since they could fall down the rock if you aren’t keeping close tabs on them, but it’s a great break from the carseats.

Out of Africa Wildlife Park

Out of Africa Wildlife Park. 

This fun stop 1.5 hours north of Phoenix is great for the kids.  The park gives open window bus tours through the open area where all the African animals that “get along” live in.  If you have ever been on a proper safari in Africa, it’s a bit underwhelming to see the animals in a “zoo” setting.   However, this wildlife park does a pretty good job of making it as realistic as possible, and the kids loved when the giraffes walked up to the bus and we got to feed them.   They have a large variety of predatory animals as well, ranging from lions and tigers to bears to wolves and more. If you are into zip lines, the park has a pretty impressive system of those as well… just hang on extra tight when you are flying over the lions.  There are also some glamping tents right next door, if you are wanting to make it as much of a safari experience as possible.  

PHOENIX sky harbor airport

The parking garage at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport. PHX has a great open top parking garage that has runways on either side of if, making a great location to watch airplanes taking off and landing with the beautiful backdrop of the mountains and desert.

FLAGSTAFF

This year, we decided to spend a few days towards the middle of our trip in Flagstaff.  Flagstaff is 2.5 hours north of Phoenix, and those 2.5 hours of driving take you out of the desert and into the high country.  The official altitude of Phoenix is 1086’ and just north of Flagstaff, we saw signs that we were at 8000’ above sea level!  Our poor rental car was about worn out by the time we made to our AirBnB.  

Grand Canyon

The Grand Canyon. One of Flagstaff’s draws is it proximity to the Grand Canyon.  The Grand Canyon definitely makes the bucket list for “sights you have to see in America”.  The Canyon is absolutely breathtaking.  I did not have an appreciation for just how enormous it is until we saw it in real life.  Something about the sheer scale of the canyon plays tricks with your eyes, as if you are looking into VR goggles rather than the real world.  If your trip to the Grand Canyon is during the winter months, you definitely run the risk of running into a proper snow storm.  When we were at the Canyon it was pretty chilly, but the cold was manageable.  

Thanks to several observatories in the area, Flagstaff is also a “dark sky” city, meaning that all the outdoor lights are required to be under a certain level of brightness.  The yellowish dim lamp posts do make even the nicer areas seem “creepier” if you are used to normal good lighting, but I had to admire the commitment to not tainting the night sky.  

Our favorite things in the Flagstaff area were:

Bearizona

It was a bit unnerving to have a small herd of Bison walk withing reach of our vehicle.

Bearizona.  Bearizona is a drive-through wildlife park forty minutes west of Flagstaff.  It’s pretty much what you would expect a drive-through wildlife park to be.  They had a pretty impressive display of animals; mule deer, brown bears, wolves, pronghorn, mountain goats, black bears, bison and elk, among others.  Pretty much, they had most of the classic American West wildlife.  After we had driven thought the park, we walked through their “normal” zoo area and were able to see some more animals there.  Overall, the experience was great, and the children thought it was pretty cool.

The kids had fun walking around in Bearizona’s more “normal” zoo areas.

Sunset Crater National Monument

Sunset Crater National Monument.  We decided to make the 34 mile scenic loop drive off of Hwy 89 that meanders past the Sunset Crater Mountain and the Wupatki National Monument.  We made the drive toward last light, and the countryside was absolutely magical.

Sedona

Sedona.  Located forty-five minutes south of Flagstaff, the town of Sedona is nestled amongst towering red rock formations.  It looks as though God had a spare afternoon and He decided to spend extra time and attention creating this one valley.  The crisp air of a Sedona January combined with the red rock formations in every direction make Sedona sunsets absolutely magical.  The town is definitely set up to accommodate tourists, but it didn’t feel super “touristy” when we were there.  I can imagine that the true tourist season is a much more crowded experience than the one we had.  

Sedona boasts many great hiking trails and jeep rides but we didn’t schedule enough time there to get in on any of that this trip.  

Tlaquepaque

Tlaquepaque. (Pronounced T-lockey-pockey) Tlaquepaque is an arts/shopping/culture/dining “village” designed to reflect the sights and sounds of Old Mexico.  If you swing by Tlaquepaque be sure to stop at our current favorite spot in the village…The Chai Spot.  The Chai Spot primarily serves Pakistani chai along with a few delicious snack options.  I’m personally not a chai fanatic but I loved the experience and the actual chai was great as well.  Their outdoor balcony area is a great place to sit down for a while and appreciate the charm of the area and it’s experiences.

The Chai Spot

After Sedona, we made the trip back down to Phoenix to finish out our vacation.  Our last two recommendations are on our “must do” list for a trip to Phoenix.  It may have something to do with the fact the both Anita and I love photography, but if you are wanting to experience pure desert beauty, you won’t be let down.

Apache Trail/Canyon Lake Area

“The Apache Trail combines the grandeur of the Alps, the glory of the Rockies, the magnificence of the Grand Canyon and then adds an indefinable something that none of the others have. To me, it is most awe-inspiring and most sublimely beautiful.”

— Theodore Roosevelt

The Apache Trail/Canyon Lake area. The drive from Apache Junction to the Dolly Steamboat on Canyon Lake is mind boggling.  Here is Theodore Roosevelt’s  description of the area: "The Apache Trail combines the grandeur of the Alps, the glory of the Rockies, the magnificence of the Grand Canyon and then adds an indefinable something that none of the others have. To me, it is most awe-inspiring and most sublimely beautiful.” The scenery alone makes the drive back to Canyon Lake worth it in my opinion, but if you are going back to the lake, do yourself a favor and take a tour on the Dolley Steamboat.  We went on “normal” sightseeing steamboat tour last year, but we have it on our Arizona to-do list to go on their twilight tour.  We saw a good amount of wildlife on the normal tour, but I can only imagine that the twilight tour would be surreal.  If you want to get in on that tour, be sure to purchase tickets well in advance since those tickets are often sold out a few weeks ahead.

SALT RIVER WILD HORSES

Salt River Horses.  Hand’s down, going to see the wild horses in the Salt River region is our favorite Arizona thing to do.  Matter of Fact, we love it so much, we plan to dedicate the Salt River Horses their own blog post.  Stay tuned.

To Change a Habit

To Change a Habit

I’ve always been intrigued with the idea of how simple it should be to change your life.  Think about it… If you aren’t in your best physical shape, and you want to work towards getting healthy, literally all you need to is change what you eat and probably add some exercise to your daily routine. If you tend to be a bit lazy, all you need to do is to get up and get to work.  Or if you want to master an instrument, all you need to do is practice with good technique regularly and you will undoubtedly get better.  Procrastinator?  Just do it.  Hot tempered? Be nice.

This list could go on and on, but I’m guessing by now that you have either responded to these suggestions with “this guy is off his rocker,  what about genetic issues that make weight loss hard, or what if people feel unmotivated because they have emotional trauma…etc.,” or your response is “Actually, He makes a good point! It’s spinach and water and a marathon a day from here on out for me!”  To be fair, people who accuse me of being “off my rocker” are probably right as a general rule, but that’s beside the point.

I’m not an expert on this by any stretch of the imagination, but my personal experience has convinced me that longterm habit change generally takes more than a “come to Jesus” moment.  Of course, serious habit change is often set off by a moment in time.  If your doctor tells you that you are on a crash course with a heart attack, it might jolt you into an immediate and permanent diet change.  While that’s obviously a good time to change your diet, I would like to focus on the small changes that happen thirty years prior to the doctor’s visit, that can hopefully eliminate the panic-driven diet change.

I’ve always loved the New Years celebrations and resolutions time of year. 

I’ve always loved the New Years celebrations and resolutions time of year.  Last year, I decided to get more serious about eating healthy.  Of course I have made that resolution before, and I have temporarily lost weight in the past, but this time was actually different.  Anita and I both have been working in the past year and a half or so to actually change our household’s health for the long run. By the time the beginning of last year rolled around, our home was actually set up pretty well to lose weight in.

What does a “healthy friendly” home look like? For us, it was steadily replacing anything unhealthy with a better alternative.  For instance, we basically eliminated sugar from our diets.  We definitely still have good snacks around but rather than cookies or cinnamon rolls or coke  we might have beef sticks or stevia sweetened baked goods or drinks.  I’m not going to pretend that the healthier food is “just as good” like some health nuts will claim, but that’s actually the point.  If I am always faced with choosing between a beef stick and a donut for my mid morning snack, the donut will often win the contest.  I’m just not disciplined enough to always resist the sweet treat, which is why holiday weekends tend to be my weakness.  Sure, there are usually some vegetable trays mixed in with all the traditional snacks sitting around, but what kind of choice is that?!

Shockingly, by the time that the year was done, I had lost 40 lbs… and it didn’t even seem that difficult. 

Shockingly, by the time that the year was done, I had lost 40 lbs… and it didn’t even seem that difficult.  Granted, it’s easier to lose that much weight if you have a bunch to lose, but it’s at least a start.  Unfortunately, I still have a good little way to go to get to my target weight, but I am no longer doubtful that I can get there.   

The change that happened was not only in my diet, it was also in my head.  When my mindset switched from trying to “get skinny” to “changing my lifestyle”, everything became different.  

It’s not always as easy as the last several paragraphs have made it sound. 

It’s not always as easy as the last several paragraphs have made it sound.  There are plenty of people who have issues such as a sluggish thyroid or a bad gut that make “easy” weight loss impossible, and that’s got to be frustrating.  My personal weakness is exercise.  I have done some of the crazy workout programs over the years but I still haven’t mastered the “mindset” of fitness for life.  My goal to adjust that problem this year is to do a short, relatively easy 10 minute workout program 6 days a week.  It’s short enough to do first thing every morning, and it’s not so hard that I dread getting out of bed because of it.  The idea is for it to be a starting point to get me in into the mindset of permanently having an exercise routine, and hopefully it will build into a proper workout program that I can maintain my entire life. 

Health and fitness are the low hanging fruit to use as an example for changing your habits, but the changing other aspects of our lives is pretty intriguing.  Take for example, a negative mindset.  What if you replaced your daily news intake with a reading a book or audiobook (that isn’t also super negative and doomsdayish).  

Another area that we have worked on over the last year is wake-up time. I’ve discovered that I’m not great at mustering the will power to get out of bed at 5:30 every morning just because that’s what my resolution says.  This year however, we almost always got out of bed somewhere reasonably close to the 5:30 mark.  The difference wasn’t more will power, it was a better bed time.  We started to begin the “going to bed” process for the children earlier in the even rather than at 8:00 when it “felt” like bedtime was coming up.  The slight change in our lifestyle of getting the kids ready for bed earlier in the evening, which in turn made our bedtime earlier, made all of the difference.  5:30 feels much less early 8 hours after you go to bed than it does 5.5 hours after you go to bed.

At the end of the day, lifestyle and habit change does come down to making a real change

At the end of the day, lifestyle and habit change does come down to making a real change.  If you want to start an exercise routine, you have to actually exercise, not just have a space in your morning routine that you “could” exercise in.  If you want to spend less time on your instagram app, you have to put your phone down.  You could create zones in your house that are “no-phone” but if you now sit at the kitchen table to scroll through your feeds rather than on the couch, you aren’t really getting anywhere.  Basically, creating an environment in which you are set up to succeed is your best bet to get where you want to go, but it’s not enough.  You actually have to do it too.

For a more in-depth read on this topic pick up this book by Atomic Habits James Clear: https://amzn.to/3qPiOEE.

Your Phone Might Take Over Your Life.

Will This Blogpost Make You Stupid?

Are computers and internet making us stupid?  Over the last several years I have felt a growing unease with the steady march of our new technologies creeping steadily deeper into our lives.  Cell phones and computers and tablets and smart watches and the like.  Everywhere you look, people are missing the physical world around them.  Grocery lines, traffic lights, living rooms, porches, gas pumps, restaurants… anywhere that we are afforded a single moment of opportunity, we reach for our devices.

  How did we go from it being geeky to have a device with “the internet” to almost everybody having one in a decade or two?  More importantly, how did those devices become so prevalent and pervasive that it has changed entire societies so quickly? I remember a time in which the ordinary trip to town didn’t even come with the consideration of people sitting around paying most of their attention to their devices… and I’m in my mid twenties.

I understand the irony.  Writing a blogpost about how technology might not be that good for us… on my MacBook, posted to our website, and promoted on our social media accounts.  Don’t get me wrong, I love new technologies!  I’m here for the self-driving cars and smart exercise equipment. I’m not even denying that I get a definite bit of enjoyment whenever we need to buy a new computer or any other technology for the office. 

The positive impact that technology has had on all of our lives is undeniable… In the general debate about how good or bad technology is, we often lose sight of the fact that technology isn’t just computers.  

Consider watches.  Before your average Joe could afford a pocket watch, the whole town may have only had one clock or none at all.  If two farmers working in their fields had decided to meet at a local diner at noon, they could have quite easily shown up at a “noon” that ranged from 11:30-12:30 or more.  If the first farmer thought that the sun looked like directly overhead at 11:30, he could have sat at the diner for a full hour before farmer who thought the sun looked directly overhead at 12:30 showed up.  I’m no cultural historian, but I suspect it was not a source of deep frustration to the first farmer that he had to wait all that time until the other farmer showed up.  That’s just the way it was.  How would he have a good grasp of time, if he had rarely even seen a clock? 

 The technology of the clock, has completely reshaped our world.  We aren’t even aware how much control the concept of minute by minute time tracking controls the way that we live.  I’ve heard  an employer talk of standing out by the parking lot watching his phone waiting to see if any of his employees showed up one minute late.  They got three strikes, and then they were gone.  Im not here to argue whether that is good or bad. My point is that those farmers at the diner would look at you crosseyed if you tried to explain the concept of being fired for being a minute late three times.  The clock has dramatically changed the world since then, and we don’t even notice it.  Again, my point is not that clocks are a bad thing… just that technologies change who we are.  

“The medium is the message.”  If you have spent any amount of time looking into the effects of technologies on us,  you have undoubtedly come across that quote by Marshall McLuhan.  

“Bless her heart” can mean “Isn’t she stupid” or it can mean “Isn’t she sweet”, depending if it is presented with the medium of sarcasm or the medium of genuine appreciation.

What does “The medium is the message” mean?  Honestly, there are too many levels to the sentence to dig into in this particular post.  An example of one aspect is the phrase “Bless her heart”.    “Bless her heart” can mean “Isn’t she stupid” or it can mean “Isn’t she sweet”, depending if it is presented with the medium of sarcasm or the medium of genuine appreciation.  The way in which a sentence is said is as important as the sentence itself.  

This concept of the carrier(medium) of the information being as important as the information is often lost in the conversation of what effect technology has on us.  It’s too easy to fall into the trap of thinking that the information we are consuming on our devices is more important than the fact that we are consuming information from our devices at all.  

While it might seem as though it is the same thing to let your kiddos look through your camera roll on your phone as it was for you to look through your mom’s family album on the coffee table, it is definitely not.  I’m not qualified to get into the actual effects that devices have on our brains, but it’s pretty clear that they are mostly negative.  

Something as innocuous as pictures in your photo app are presented with the flashy, short attention span glamour of our current technologies.  While each picture could be the same as one in a physical photo album, they each present a myriad of decisions.  Whether you want to or not, your brain needs to decide whether to pinch and zoom or to swipe left or right to next picture.  Similarly, reading an Ebook with actual links in its text only serves to distract from the book’s message, rather than enhance it.  There is simply too much information being presented for our brains to take it all in.

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Does it really matter?

Maybe the new technologies of today are basically just newer, more fancy versions of the clock and written language.  Although clocks and written language becoming ubiquitous were world changing, it’s impossible to say we are worse off with them.  Again, I’m actually pro-technology…technologies are supposed to be world changing.  

“pancake people… spread wide and thin as we connect with that vast network of information accessed by the mere touch of a button.”

When I see the steady march of connected devices into every waking minute of our lives, I wonder if we are going to end up being a bunch of shallow thinking know-nothings within a few generations.  Or, as playwright Richard Forman put it, “pancake people-spread wide and thin as we connect with that vast network of information accessed by the mere touch of a button.”

Because we are so immersed in a culture of technology, it is easy to forget that we are barely even in stage 1 of a trial of how this will effect humanity.  The ramifications of people sitting on their couches not saying a word to the person beside them, but rather communicating with whomever through a small box with a screen that they hold in their hand, are hard to project.  

What is the Solution?

Recently, I had a conversation with somebody who did not have any internet-connected devices, and he was confronting the decision of whether or not he and his family wanted to begin to introduce the internet into their lives.  He asked me if I had the choice, would I reintroduce the internet into my life or not.  The question was harder for me to answer than I would have guessed.  

If you could choose to just eliminate the pressures and time drain and change that our devices represent, would you be willing to drop the benefits that they also afford? I finally concluded that my answer wasn’t total abstinence.  The world is far too invested in the new age of devices to turn back the clock, even if we wanted to.  

There is almost no doubt that if we try to completely avoid the new wave of technologies, our children or children’s children will need to confront them anyway.  In my mind, a better solution is to realize that this new wave is world changing, and we need to confront and accept it as a powerful tool. What does that look like?  To me, it looks like not only realizing that it is here to stay, but also making a conscious effort to create boundaries in our lives.

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Practical Application.

Never let your child use a connected device that you don’t understand.
“I have no clue what that thing can do” is opening the door for real heartache.  If you don’t have a good idea what your child’s device is capable of, find out or eliminate it.  

There are endless trapdoors for your children to fall into with almost every single connected device. 

There are endless trapdoors for your children to fall into with almost every single connected device.  Start with the premise that any connected device is not innocent.  There are tragic stories of young children being lured into trafficking by “users” on their connected gaming consoles.   Either figure out a way to identify and eliminate the traps, or eliminate the device.  The risk/reward isn’t too hard to figure out when you take a few steps back and consider the emotion, physical, and mental damage that can take place in the dark corners of the internet.   This doesn’t mean that the internet or all connected devices are all bad, just that they aren’t all innocent entertainment or productive devices.

As I have increasingly noticed the creep of technology into the world around my, I have especially noticed how omnipresent phones have become. Phones can transform a family from playing board games several evenings a week to spending every evening sitting around scrolling through Instagram in three years. 

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Create real, practical guidelines. 

We have a standard of no devices after 7:30 every evening.  If we need to use our device after 7:30, we need to ask the other spouse for permission to use it.  That sounds a little crazy written down, but the goal is to create a barrier to devices just creeping into our living room and taking over every evening.  Turns out, it’s hard to sit around on your device before 7:30 when you have a few toddlers.

A few easy places to start:

No phones at the table. No phones in the bedroom (no excuses about the alarm clock, you can literally have one on the way in 2 minutes with this link. https://amzn.to/3qxmavZ  No excuses about emergency calls either… set your phone just outside your room or maybe just inside the room). No phones in the living room. No phones are short local car rides. We’ve even considered having a basket just inside the door that our phones can live in while we are at home but we haven’t made that leap yet.

The objective of these guidelines is to create an awareness in your life of the creep of phones into you and your family’s life.  Try them for a week or a month.  I’ve been amazed how difficult it can be to uphold even one of these rules and honestly we are still working toward finding the right lines and upholding ones that we know are good ideas.  The whole internet world is spending billions of dollars to figure out how to get you to live in their world, and they are pretty good at it.   The odds are, if you don’t create hard boundaries in your life, you or your children will almost certainly end up living in their metaverse… their online world in which you live most of your life’s waking hours.

Again, I’m not anti-technology, I just happen to believe that the real world is a better place to live in the long run than any curated Metaverse. Decide what you want your home’s device usage to look like and make it happen.  For the past decade or two, we have been slowly overtaken by our connected devices, and that’s definitely not going to stop unless we decide to make it.

If you are interested in a more in-depth read on this, check out this book: The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains. by Nicholas Carr. https://amzn.to/3qB23wG. I found it to be readable but also the author also took time to dive into important details and concepts.

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DIY Wooden Play Gym for Baby

I’m very much the type of person that hates spending a large sum of money on something that looks like we could make it ourselves. Sometimes that really doesn’t work out for the best and we end up buying it in the end anyway. But we made this play gym for Kate and although it’s not as fancy as some of the really expensive ones, she loves it and I’m happy with it. Here’s how we did it…

Here are the supplies I bought.

1 piece of wood, 1/2” x 8’ and got Justin to cut down down to 4 24” pieces and cut the ends at a 20 degree angle.. that step is optional but I love that it sits flat on the floor.

1 2’ dowel rod

2 3/4 washers + screws (my screws were 2” long)

Wooden beads + rings from Hobby Lobby

I ended up buying some silicone beads/toys that I was intending to make but I couldn’t find the silicone toys and beads at a reasonable price so I just bought it assembled at Ole Tyme Pantry.

You will also need a drill to predrill the holes.

I used a gray paint (the color I used was some leftover Dolphin gray paint that I found in my Mom’s garage) and painted about 8” up, using masking tape to get a good line.

You will need to pre-drill the legs at the top and both ends of the dowel rod then take the screws and assemble it. Don’t forget to hang the toys on the rod before securing both ends. After you’ve assembled the top part you’re ready for the next and final step…

Drill a hole just big enough to get your string though, attach a bead and make a knot to secure it. You’ll do this on the outside of the outside leg, and the inside of the inside leg to make so you can still fold it. This step brings so much security to this thing. I also made this hole just a little above the paint line as you can see above. You can put it anywhere you’d like.

Kate loves playing here. She spends probably close to hours every single day sitting here and playing with her toys. These silicone toys came from Ole Tyme Pantry in Missouri. You can find them on Etsy or at Amish/Mennonite stores. The wooden one I strung together using the beads I bought at Hobby Lobby but the rings at the bottom ended up breaking due to someone stepping on them. I just like the silicone ones so much better tho so I just got another one of those for the third one.

Good luck!

I used the instructions from Pinterest but I modified a bit here and there. If you need more detailed instructions check out that post here https://littlehouseonpurpose.com/diy-wooden-baby-gym/

Little Boys In The Desert...

any day spent with you is my

FAVORITE

day. So

TODAY

is my new favorite day.

-Winnie the Pooh

“With BOYS, you always know exactly where you stand...
right in the middle of a HURRICANE”

“FRIENDSHIP is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What? You too? I thought I was the only one.’ “

- C. S. Lewis

LITTLE BOYS…

miScHieF aNd giGgleS aNd a wHole BunCH oF wiGgleS

Phoenix, AZ

“ Because the harbor was not suitable to spend the winter in... They hoped that somehow they could reach PHOENIX... and spend the winter there.
Acts 27:12 (NET)”

This year we decided to take a winter vacation to Phoenix. We have taken winter vacations to Georgia and South Carolina the last several years, and since we are “ocean” people always thought that we would probably make that our regular spot to go when we wanted to escape the cold of an Ohio winter. Arizona, however, surprised us with how first rate of a vacation spot it is. First off, the weather is unbeatable. In a southern state, if it’s warm, it’s muggy. In Phoenix, the warmth is super pleasant. Our typical morning temps were in the 40s, and generally they would peak out in the mid 60s to upper 70s. Every morning and evening the air is as clear as a midwestern spring or fall morning.

“Generally, We are not fans of “screen time” for our kiddos, but that proved to be an indispensable tool for getting Jackson to be ok with a mask.”

About a week before departure, we came to the sudden realization that Jackson was old enough that wearing a mask would likely be mandatory. We came close to a panic when we saw news stories of families being kicked off of airlines for “unmasked” 2 and 3 year olds. Stories of small kids with sensory disabilities that make mask wearing impossible, kids that have a lot more reason to be allowed not to wear masks than a kid who’s only defense is stubbornness. He ended up wearing it for some of the time but the flight crew was pretty understanding.

Jack was enamored enough with the ‘thrill of the flight’ that he did really well on the airplane.

The weather made walks with the kids so much fun.

So much sunshine!!

Phoenix is about 2-3 hours north of the Mexican border, so we decided to hop the border and get some dental work done while we were in the area.

“If you have kids and you love travel, get yourself a collapsible wagon!!”

Proper lemon trees right next to the house.

We took a trip up Apache Trail to take a ride on the Dolly Steamboat Tour. This was a definite highlight of the trip. Next time we get a chance to go, we plan to think ahead and book a twilight tour. If you are lucky, you can see bighorn sheep, and eagles, and multiple other species of wildlife.

Jackson had so much fun with his cousin Keagan!

There is a reason everyone that gets Dutch Bros Coffee takes a picture like this... Their drinks are fantastic! They have the customer service of Chick-fil-A with the taste of a small coffee shop.

The Phoenix Park n’ Swap (flea market) it a pretty interesting stop. Jackson loved his little toy gun.

So much good food!

On our final evening in Arizona, we drove to the Salt River area to see if we could see the local population of wild horses. Unfortunately we only saw tracks and heard them in the distance, but the area held some of the most breathtaking scenery we have ever encountered.

We had to get a impromptu family picture with a cactus.

Heading home…

Photo of the Day

This transformation photo of the day comes to you from the Corvin Castle of Hunedoara, Romania.

Being a photographer tourist at a beautiful place like this can be pretty frustrating. Most times there are lot of people in the way of your ideal shot and often the hours that you can even go see the place are during the middle of the day. This almost always means that unless you get lucky with some crazy good lighting and that you happen to get just the right angle of the building on your first trip, your photo will probably only be about 60% as good as it could be.

Take for example this shot. I had already taken quite a few pictures at different angles and had settled on this angle as a pretty good one. The lighting, however, is not pretty good. The sun was beaming full force and the sky is less than ideal. On top of that, there are a bunch of people in my shot… but this shot is about the best I had. Enter Photoshop.   A lot of people consider “photoshopping” a picture to be cheating, and they might be right. Photoshop is a whole other art form though, and it’s a lot of fun to see how far I can take a picture. First, the lighting on the castle needed to be improved. That is a pretty basic process and it helped, but didn’t solve the problem of the washed out sky.

I started looking through my photos from the trip and found this beautiful pre-sunset sky from another location in Romania. The process of switching out a sky is a little tedious but not too technical, but removing the people was a little more difficult. The Orthodox lady happened to be walking in at that exact moment, and somehow it seemed fitting to leave her in the picture. That little bit of luck brings a whole new dimension to the photo.

In the end, I probably spent around 2-3 hours in photoshop, and I was pretty happy with the photo. It’s not 100% perfect, but a photo almost never is. That, though, is the reason we keep going out there over and over.

Our Honeymoon in Punta Cana

Before Anita and I got married in September of 2016 we decided that we would like to spend our honeymoon on a beautiful beach somewhere in another country. We briefly considered some of the classics such as Mexico and Jamaica. We settled on Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic, not necessarily because it was a much better option than the others, we just liked the location and decided to settle on it.

We knew from the beginning that we wanted to go to an all-inclusive resort on the beach. The idea of just sitting back and enjoying vacation without worrying about paying for meals and drinks sounded amazing. I’ve heard that if you run the numbers it’s considerably cheaper to just book your own tickets and rent a place and buy your own food, but we weren’t really looking to cut a lot of costs on this trip. However, it was more affordable to spend 10 days than I anticipated. Our total at that time was around $2800, which included food and transportation. We did end up doing a few extras (parasailing, snorkeling, etc.) that brought our total closer to $3500. Honestly the same experience in the United States would probably have been most of double that.

We booked through a travel agency, but they basically just booked us through applevacations.com. Honestly, if I had it over to do, I would just book straight through applevacations.com. Their search system is pretty good and when you are booked they take care of you from end to end, including transportation to and from the airport. In the end, we settled on Bavaro Princess Hotel All Inclusive Resor, and never for a moment regretted our decision. The resort has since been remodeled but it was already an incredibly beautiful place. The staff of Dominican Republican natives were some of the friendliest people I have ever met. A lot of them could barely speak English, but they knew just enough to be able to understand what you needed when you had a request. Their smiles and hand gestures were always sufficient to make up for the language they didn’t understand.

Pretty much every day, we would get at least one Pina Colada. Believe me when I say they taste several levels better than anything of the sort you can buy in the U.S. The resort had nine restaurants and several “drink” stations on the grounds. There is something extra fun about walking into a nice restaurant, being served by friendly people, and then standing up and walking out without worrying about the bill.

On average, the dining was pretty nice, by our standards at least. With the exception of one or two of the restaurants that were breakfast or lunch buffets, it was mostly cloth napkins and dress codes. The variety was pretty good, but by the end of ten days I was ready for non-restaurant food.

They loved making fancy desert plates that, on average, looked a lot better than they tasted.

The crepe station, on the other hand, had food that tasted even better than it looked. Our favorite was filled with Nutella and covered in raspberry sauce.

We also decided to go parasailing and didn’t regret that decision for one minute…

Actually, when this guy showed up to take us out to the parasailing boat we did wonder whether or not we should regret our decision. Apparently, the mask is more to keep out the sun than to hide his identity but somehow it’s still pretty unsettling.

Our view of the courtyard from our balcony.

We also decided to go on an outing with Reef Explorer. Basically you get taken 10ish minutes out into the ocean to a small manmade island. They have several options to try out there, snorkeling, paddle boarding, ocean kayaking, and that sort of thing. They also had and stingray and vegetarian (at least that’s what they said they were) sharks that we swam with.

They even included a short massage while we were out there!

A baby-faced, young, and happy version of us, leaving our honeymoon and heading back to the real world.

Our Trip Around (a small part of) The World.

Two years ago, we decided to take the advice we had so often heard from people with more experience then us. Travel before you have kids, they said… so we did. We chose the DIY path rather than going with a travel agency, and with that experience, learned some lessons the hard way. Hopefully this post can inspire you to take your own DIY globetrotting expedition without making the mistakes or wrong assumptions that we did.

The premise of our trip was to have 2 main stops (Romania & Kenya) and catch as many 1-3 day stops as possible between those destinations. Our itinerary looked something like this:

Take off from Chicago

• layover overnight in Boston (thanks to delayed flight)

• Layover in Reykjavik, Iceland (also thanks to the original delayed flight)

1.5 days Dublin, Ireland (originally 2 days but aforementioned flight delay changed that)

• layover in London

7 days Romania

• layover in Milan, Italy

• layover in Barcelona, Spain

• layover in Dubai, Saudi Arabia

7 days Kenya, Africa

• Touchdown in Chad, Africa (on the way to Morocco)

• layover Morocco, Africa

3 days Paris, France

1 day Reykjavik, Iceland

Back in Chicago!! (a bit over 3 weeks later)

As I mentioned earlier, we decided to book the trip without the help of a travel company, because we felt confident in our travel-navigation skills. We have both traveled internationally a few times and Anita has lived in Romania as a missionary with her family for several years. More than feeling competent enough, we wanted the adventure (and budget) of “figure it out as you go” travel.

Our booking started with deciding on our main locations that we for sure wanted to hit (Ireland, Romania, Kenya, & Paris), and then seeing where the normal layovers took us to make sure we didn’t want to spend more time in those places as well.

Once we finalized our destinations and dates, the price checking began. Almost without fail, I checked our prices at least daily for about 2 months. The prices were consistently a few hundred dollars cheaper on Tuesday or Wednesday than they were on Sunday. Apparently there are studies that back up my observations… according to Farecompare.com “In the U.S., Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday are usually cheapest. For international travel, weekdays are usually cheaper than weekends. Expensive days: Fridays and Sundays usually cost more, especially in the U.S.” In the end we spent around $1100 per person for our round trip airfare.

Our first stop, Ireland, was a destination that we had both dreamed of visiting for quite some time. It didn’t disappoint, but because we had delayed flights we had only a little less than 2 days to enjoy it.

Our Air B&B castle. Actually we slept in the “granary”… which is the building on the right.

After landing, we had the afternoon to find the castle where we were to spend the night (I’m not kidding), and go to find some supper. Eventually we found an inn overlooking the Irish Sea, and people with thick Irish accents served us dishes such as fish and chips. It felt like something out of an old novel.

The Irish Sea.

We spent the next morning in Dunmore East, enjoying the breathtaking greenness and foggy beauty of coastal Ireland. The rest of the day was spent walking around Dublin, seeing the sights, going on trolly tours, and looking quite like tourists.

Dunmore East

After our short stint in Ireland we packed our bags and boarded a plane to Romania. We had a few hour layover in London, and for a bit we debated trying to grab a taxi and make a dash past the Buckingham palace. In the end, we decided the risk of missing our flight was too high and opted to spend our time braving the crowded airport.

Romania was on our destination list because Anita had spent several years there as a missionary with her family when she was a teenager. Our basic objective was to spend some time in the village where her family had lived and she had so many memories in.

Fun Fact: Anita is tri-lingual. In addition to English, she speaks both Pennsylvania Dutch and Romanian fluently.

The Village where Anita spent several years as a teenager.

My first impression of Romania was less than ideal, to say the least. We thought we had a rental car booked for our 1.5hr drive to the village. Apparently however, the booking systems did not know that every one of this particular airport’s rental companies had shut down for the night… several hours before we got there. In the end, we spent the night at a sketchy motel nearby and then waited for well over an hour past “opening time” at the door of our rental car company. Then we spent another hour waiting for our car to show up… Good times.

With the not-ideal start behind us, we headed off into a surprisingly beautiful Romania. Our week or so in Romania was pretty relaxed overall. We spent some time visiting old acquaintances of Anita’s and she took me on a walking tour of the village, complete with stories about the “old days”. We also were able to do some “touresting” in Romania as well.

Corvin Castle (Hunedoara, Romania)

The Corvin Castle in Hunedoara, Romania was one of the most stunning displays of a bygone era that I have experienced. Construction on it began in 1446! There were small prisons for whomever the King decided to torture, but just around the corner would be majestic rooms lined with the classic knight armor and swords. It is mind blowing to walk through a place with nearly 600 years of history and try to image that people actually lived so luxuriously and brutally at the same time.

Romania was surprisingly beautiful, as a general rule. The landscape is quite a bit more mountainous than I had expected and there is a lot more “untouched” greenness (pastures, forests…etc.) than I expected to see. Thirty years ago, Romania was still a communist country. As a result, the culture is a unique mix of communist-style laws and corruption, offset by strong Western values and a desire for true freedom.

Feeding the Pigeons at Centru (the Center) Timisoara, Romania

The historical architecture of Romania’s larger cities is also stunning. As someone used to “old architecture” by American standards, I was blown away by just how much older and, on average, more beautiful the European architecture was.

Orthodox Cathedral (Timisoara, Romania)

Orthodox Cathedral (Timisoara, Romania)

After our stay in Romania, we were off to Kenya, Africa! I had been to Kenya with some of my buddies before we were married, and I was excited to show Nita one of my favorite countries.

First, we had an insane day or two (the days get confusing when you are constantly changing time zones) of travel. Originally our flight schedule was relatively reasonable, but for some reason one of the flights was cancelled several weeks before our trip. To get us to Africa in decent time, the booking agency had to cobble together a few small flights to make up for the cancelled flight. We ended up flying into Italy, Spain, and Saudi Arabia. While we didn't get to “experience” those countries, we did get an interesting glimpse from our airplanes at the landscape. The people working in the airports also gave us a glimpse of the cultures and lifestyles of those countries. With the exception of a $130 fee because the people in Dubai singled us out and weighed our overweight carry-on bag, that stint of the trip went quite smoothly.

Dubai from the sky.

In Kenya, we visited my cousin for a few days at the mission where she was working and during that time we got to do a little shopping in their crazy marketplaces and experienced their unreal driving conditions. Rush hour in Africa makes even the craziest American traffic look like a Sunday snooze.

This is either a fun way to ride around, or it’s a tin can of suicide on wheels, depends who you ask.

Everything in Africa feels just a bit more dangerous. If you enjoy constantly feeling in control and safe, it’s definitely not the place for you. If, however, you like adventure; Africa is a wonderful country! The people of Africa, especially the children, have a way of crawling into your heart. Their winning smiles and over the top joy in the simplest things (like having their photo taken) is contagious.

The event we were all looking forward to was our safari trip to the Masai Mara. I had been on a self-guided Mara trip with some of my friends on my first visit to Africa, and I was beyond excited to be going back. This trip, however, we went with Fairmont Mara Safari Club, a lodge complete with professional guides and luxury tents.

The main lodge

The Mara is pretty much every photographer’s dream. It feels like you are living in a National Geographic documentary…

In two safari trips, this is the only mature male lion I have seen.

Our guide pulled right up to this lonely old Cape buffalo, and turned off the Rover. He then proceeded to inform us that lonely old Cape buffalo are the most dangerous kind… Thanks a lot, Buster. Apparently they tend to become frustrated with life when younger bulls overthrow them and kick them out of the herd, and become more aggressive.

Zebras and Wildabeast by the thousands

Fastest mammal on earth.

Impala

The rovers they use to take you around the Mara have a personality of their own. The ditches, and gulleys, and small rivers these vehicles get you through are mind-blowing.

As our time in Kenya came to a close we once again packed our bags and got ready to travel. This time we were headed for Paris! But first, we had to brave the Moroccan airline, Royal Air Maroc. We are no strangers to not-great airlines, but this particular airline was on a planet of its own. The first red flag was the lady behind the check-in counter hand-writing tickets… no joke. I’m no genius, but that didn’t seem like a good thing. Next red flag was our flight attendant asking to see our (handwritten) boarding pass which she cross referenced with a spreadsheet she was carrying around. Mental red flags 3-6 were raised when she came back through and cross checked our (handwritten) boarding passes with her paper FOUR MORE TIMES! At this point we were wondering what our odds of survival were. Thankfully, the plane wasn’t super full so we had plenty of breathing room… if only we knew. Either I didn’t notice when we booked, or they “neglected” to let us know, but at some point a passenger pick up stop was added to the flight. We were about three hours into our six hour flight when the plane began it’s descent into the desert of Chad, Africa. When we taxied a stop in the tiny run-down airport, a second boarding process began. This time, there was no extra breathing room. The flight attendant stood sternly in the aisle and ushered the new passengers into the seats, front to back. Later in the flight, when we went to the back of the plane for a bathroom break, we discovered why she had ushered us in so tightly. The back six rows were completely empty so that each flight attendant could have a set of three seats to themselves. Maybe that is what being employee-centric looks like. In the end, our six hour flight took around nine hours, but we survived.

Paris was on on our destination list because it always seemed like a fun place to visit. The city has an unusually strong aesthetic appeal. I don’t who was responsible for marketing Paris as a dream destination, but they did a fantastic job. I’m still not sure if it truly is an extra special city, with an unusual romance and charm, or if that is just a perception that movies and marketing have convinced us of. Either way, it truly is a beautiful place. We had three days to explore Paris, so we got started. We visited the Eiffel Tower, first thing of course, took the riverboat cruise, visited the Notre Dame Cathedral, and ate a lot of crepes.

We also were fortunate enough to be able to tour the Notre Dame Cathedral... that of course felt more significant when if was partially consumed by fire earlier this year.

Notre Dame

The worst thing about Paris is the traffic… by far. Unsurprisingly, the main attractions are super crowded. However, if you can see past the masses, the architecture is stunning

Classic Paris shot… Beautiful architecture in the Notre Dame, photobombed by a tourist taking selfies.

Fun fact: It is illegal for me to post my favorite picture of the Eiffel Tower. It’s legal to take pictures of the Tower during the daytime and post them, because the Tower itself is considered public domain. The artist who did the lighting of the Tower, however, still owns the copyright to the lighting of the Tower. Basically any pictures after dark of the Tower are illegal to post unless you get copyright permission.

Paris is filled with little shops serving both pastries and crepes. It also adds to the fun to get these foods in the non-touristy areas, where the super friendly shop owners don’t speak any English. It quickly turns into a point and wave and nod conversation, but that’s half the charm.

In the end, we thoroughly enjoyed Paris. However, if we had the opportunity to spend three days in France again, we would definitely take at least half a day to go out and see the French countryside outside of Paris. For some reason, that option never crossed our minds until it was too late.

After our short stop in Paris came to an end, we once again packed our bags and headed to the airport. This time, we were going to our last stop, Iceland.

Iceland is without doubt the most beautiful place I have been to. Unfortunately, we had only one day to enjoy it. The Viking folklore and the rugged and beautiful terrain make this island incredibly intriguing. We basically spent our time driving from one beautiful location to the next, doing our best to cover as much of the island as possible.

This random stone on the cold beach has a small hot pool of water. It is uncanny to reach into a “puddle” on a cold day and feel water that’s almost too warm to keep your hand in.

Aurora borealis

On the final night of our trip, we left the airb&b around midnight and headed out to see the northern lights. This has always been on my photographer bucket list. Unfortunately, the northern lights that night were pretty much on the bottom end of what Iceland is capable of displaying, but for this Midwesterner, they were stunning. The lights were a perfect ending to an exhaustingly wonderful trip.

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Final Tips

1. Enjoy the Culture You are Visiting.

   It’s easy to get caught up in the “annoying” parts of being in a different country. For example, the service that you get in an African restaurant tends to be awful compared to American restaurants. That can be really annoying, or you can decide to just enjoy a slower culture.

2. Budget Airlines aren’t a Great Deal if You Have a Month’s Worth of Luggage.

   We didn’t really intend to book budget airlines but that’s what we ended up with. They are great deals if you only want to take a short flight from location A to B. If you are going on a month’s journey however, the fees that they charge for even one check-in pretty much eliminate your savings. Plus, they often don’t offer even water as a complementary beverage.

3. NEVER Fly with Royal Air Maroc. Never.

   Ok, if someone pointed a gun at your head and told you to get on a Royal Air Maroc flight, I would probably encourage you to go ahead and board the plane. But that’s about the only situation in which I would recommend it.

4. Ireland is as Dreamy, Green, Beautiful and Rainy as Any Place Could Be.

5. Romania is Surprisingly Beautiful.

6. Kenya is an Exciting Country Full of Adventure.

7. The Masai Mara is Unbelievably Fantastic.

8. Paris is a Beautiful City, but it’s a Little Bit Overrated.

9. Iceland is Quite Possible the Most Beautiful Country on Earth.

10. Enjoy Your Trip the Way that You Like to Enjoy Traveling.

    See all the sights if you can’t stand to waste a minute, just relax if you are more into that, take a ton of photos if you love photography, leave your camera at home and just get the basics with your phone if taking pictures distracts you from your trip. Whatever you do, enjoy your trip. You’ll never regret that.